Oh my god. This entry about being too damn adult and getting in our own way in The Artist’s Way Every Day: A Year of Creative Living is so uncannily timely (emphasis my own): 

September 8

No surprise that it was Picasso himself who remarked, “We are all children. The trick is how to remain one.” Mozart, we are told, remained one. Why do we get so damn adult? If we stop trying to improve ourselves and start trying to delight ourselves, we get further as artists. If we lean into what we love instead of soldiering toward what we “should”, our pace quickens, our energy rises, optimism sets in. What we love is nutritious for us. To be an artist you must learn to let yourself be. Stop getting better. Start appreciating what you are. Do something that simply delights you for no apparent reason. Give in to the little temptation, poke into a strange doorway, buy the weird scrap of silk in a color you never wear. Drop the rock. A lot of great artists work in their pajamas. Ernest Hemingway and Oscar Hammerstein both worked standing up because they liked that.

It’s as if it was meant for me to read right at this very moment. This came after a tough week on keto where I “soldiered on” as my body rebelled against my carb elimination. This came when I had just planned the biggest and most ambitious ever plan in my life. This came in a time when I’m trying to (over-)improve myself with new habits. This showed up for my fear and anxiety from shouldering this much.   

As much as I love what and who I’m trying to grow into next, why did I have to “get so damn adult” about it? All that discipline, rigor, and structure fit for world domination…why?! I think it’s great to dream big and aspire to be more, but too much tension is probably going to work against me more than push me forward. 

How does one plan, but move ahead as if one didn’t plan?

Oxymoronic paradoxes like these are the stuff of cosmic truths, I believe. Anytime I come to a realisation phrased like this, I know it’s worth heeding. Doubly so because that’s the message I’m also getting from the book Antifragile by Nassim Taleb - to be antifragile, you cannot be too predictive and linear in approach. You have to embrace some degree of randomness, so that you’re not fooled into believing that your plan towards success is the only way. Besides, if it’s an approach that requires an element of play that ultimately leads to enjoyment, delight and lets me embrace my weirdness, why fucking not?!

What we love is nutritious for us. Let yourself be.

Tomorrow I’m going to introduce this into my work. Plans stay plans, and I will continue to use them as North Stars. But play will–and must–direct my actions. 

This book is beginning to feel like an artist’s bible - randomly flip to a page, read the signs, and feel the gentle whispery nudge that the Universe is offering.