What do you do when you lose faith in humanity? 

Today was one of those days. You often hear about how the universe conspires to help you in your favour when you have faith, but the opposite is also possible, and a million times less mentioned. Nobody like to pour cold water. But yes, today was one of those days, when the world conspires to do you wrong, everyone takes advantage of you, and events left you hanging high and dry. Today was hard.

What do you do when that happens? What can you do?

I try to take with stoically but there’s a limit to that capacity. I want to remain calm and optimistic in face of shit days, but today was hard. I struggle to not let the experiences harden my heart to people, friends and even family. But today was hard. I know soon it will pass, but today was hard. 

So I just let it loose. I sulk, I fume, I mumble curse words under my breath. Every step I take, the dark clouds follow. When someone bumps into me, I tsk at him loudly to announce my displeasure. When a service staff takes too long at the counter for my sandwich, I start to raise my voice a little more. I stand downwind of someone smoking, I walk away while giving him dirty looks. All that negativity needs to go somewhere. I wish I would let loose more. But as usual, I hold myself back. Usually to my own detriment.

After taking time to be quiet for most of the day, the clouds start to lift a little. It’s best to be quiet during such times. It always spills over and out to others if I interact, at no fault of their’s. Silence and distance are anger’s best friends. 

And as night fall, I feel more relaxed. Perhaps the world had conspired against me today. It sucks. So let it suck. Let sleep come. Tomorrow, the conspiracy might change. One can hope.