It was a seemingly simple and innocent question. Yet, one that I realised—to my horror—that I don’t have an answer to.

What do you do to destress? What do you do for fun?

I was dumbfounded. As I mentally scrolled through my micro-habit schedule, there was not one that was targeted towards stress management. My time was mainly all work and sleep, some for family and health. No hobbies, no sports, no gaming, no fun whatsoever. OK, I guess family time and workouts do contribute to some stress relief. But not intentionally so.

How did I get here?   

It’s funny how as kids and later in school, you always had hobbies or a sport that you were obsessed with, yet once you start working and adulting, all that are thrown out of the window. I remembered how I was always involved in some sport of some kind, all the way through school: table ping pong, badminton, taekwando, running, Scouts, basketball, canoeing, rockclimbing. But now, none at all. The last hobby I tried installing in my life was the traditional Japanese craft of kintsugi, but even the poetic beauty of the tradition and the hands-on nature of the craft didn’t hook me for long. 

If actions reflects priorities, then it shows that my priorities were not having fun, but achieving. Classic over-achiever symptoms. With hobbies, it’s easy to kind of be lazy and go with the flow and assume that it will fill itself up somewhere in the cracks of time available between work and family. But I want to change that now. If this needs to be intentionally prioritized and planned, so be it.   

Moreover, it’s been a tough month. I might have pushed myself too hard mentally, and now my physical health is paying for it. Even if I had my micro-habits dialled down to manage my physical health well (through diet and exercise), I had forgotten to do the same for the other side of wellbeing–my mind. 

It’s psychosomatic just as it is somato-psychic.

So, as silly as it sounds, I got to form new habits to destress and have fun. I got to be intentional about it. 

So here goes, version 1:

When?

Wed evenings - 2h of fun activity 

Sat mornings - 2h of fun activity

What fun activity?

Impact sports - back to rock-climbing? Or try martial arts?

Being outside - cycling, swimming in the sea, forest bathing

Gaming - great opportunity to use my gamer laptop 

Side-note: Again, that ‘having fun’ theme. Previously it was about sparking joy and having fun at work. Now it’s about the same thing but outside of work. Note to self.