The expose article that Forbes wrote to understand the context of Zappos’ visionary CEO Tony Hsieh’s passing made me think about about how signal relates to lack. It seems like—based on personal observation and heuristics, nothing scientific—the more someone signals something, the more likely that person lacks that particular something. Tony Hsieh was well-known for “delivering happiness”. Yet, there seems to be a major void in him. Allegedly, at least based on what the reports from his close friends had said. 

Truth of the article aside, this observation feels hauntingly familiar. Remember that one who’s always the life of the party, making everyone laugh? Perhaps he needs that laughter more than anyone else who laughed with him. That one who’s life mission is to help others seek X? He needs X more than the people he is helping. 

Wounded healers, basically. Depressed comedians.

Perhaps that’s a subtle-but-not-so-subtle cry for help no one noticed, until too late. Because the problem with helping others as a way of helping oneself can often be counter-productive, or create the opposite effect. You have to put up a brave front for the sake of those who depend on your help, when you actually isn’t anything but brave. And that leaves out opportunities to be vulnerable and open about your own issues, leaving you even more ‘isolated’ and unable to seek external help, digging your own hole deeper.

That makes me think: what am I signalling out loud to the world right now? Am I feeling any lack—consciously or subconsciously—in those areas? Better yet, what are my loved ones and friends signalling to me? Should I be looking out for any of them? Because

The stronger the signal, the greater the lack.