@svenka said about his aspirations writing here on 200wad: “one thing I would really like to be able to improve on, is my ability to not care about what people might think of what I produce.”

Love this line. Resonated much. This was a slow lesson I learned and am still learning, from writing here everyday. The act of posting it publicly everyday was like one small chipping away at the massive block of anxiety. Everyday you put yourself out there, just you with your own voice, in this loud and unforgiving world. At some point, it’ll give. You cease to care enough. I hope. After around 6 months, it’s showing tiny signs of that elusive not-caring. I can only hope it stays around, and grows.

I’m not sure if it’s even possible that this fear of public writing (FOPW) will ever completely disappear. Perhaps it’ll never, and all we can hope to do is to sit well with it, and respond well.

Maybe that’s all I should aim for. And when I can finally do that well, I can’t wait to see what I’ll produce! Imagine that self confidence. That audacity, to actually not give a f**k about what anyone has to say or not say about it. 

Imagine.