I think we’re all going through grief in a way. Grief that the old life might never come back. If we follow the five stages of grief—denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance—I think I’m probably in the depression part. Ok that clinical depression. But feeling low. Like Monday blues forever kind of low.
I shared yesterday how I don’t know what’s normal anymore. But after more than a month indoors, I can feel an inkling of acceptance blooming. Acceptance is a nice, positive word to use, but in actual fact it’s actually more like impatience and frustration with holding out hope and waiting with no end in sight. There’s no point wishing away the reality that’s becoming increasingly stark and clear:
Normal died, in February.
So, if this is how life will be like for the indefinite future, how would you face it?
So let’s assume for now things will not return to as before, and we’re faced with this entirely new set of lifestyle constraints indefinitely. What will these new lifestyle constraints look like?
- Staying home all the time, unless for essentials.
- Working from home most/all days.
- Schooling your kids from home.
- No more traveling to other countries or even states for leisure.
- No more malls, cafes, entertainment venues.
- Most consumables come to your home, contactlessly.
- Socializing only in front of a screen.
- No more coffees, dinners, meetups in real life.
- Handshakes and hugs are dead.
- Sneezes without a mask is like unprotected sex with strangers, in a dirty toilet, of an old rundown bar.
- Coughs become more anti-social behaviour than farts.
- Your movements outside are heavily monitored and frowned upon.
- Your wages/earnings go down, the wages for “essential services” (like cleaning, enforcement, food delivery) goes up.
If this is the future, how can I better prepare for it? What do I need to start doing now?
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Preparing for this new normal means changes on a few levels: expectations, goals, habits.
The fact that I’m writing this signals that I’m ready to expect to change my expectations of how things should be. Sounds easy enough, but getting here was the tough part. Coming to terms with losing something probably forever, and processing that grief, is the hard work.
Next comes goals. With travel and consumption being severely limited, time to make goals that can be accomplished and enjoyed within the four walls of the home. Home-body goals, anyone? Like say for fitness, it could now be more about being able to do multiple reps of body weight exercises instead of running a long distance.
Lastly, habits. I feel most optimistic about this area as I’m a do-er by nature, and being action-oriented, learning new habits and dropping old ones give me a sense of empowerment and control, especially when there’s so much in our lives right now that we cannot control. Ok if preparing for a new normal just means a change in habits, I can do that. Just as I did recently with my keto diet. Just as I did recently with my career transition from consultant to indie maker. This is just a third wave (or tsunami?!) of habits changes this year. I can do it. Instead of a routine built around the old freedoms we had, maybe it’s time to line up a new habit system, and daily routines. The key difference is moving from a focused, disciplined stretch of time for work, to clustered work. Those with children not in school and in the house, you know what I mean. The challenge is is similar to multi-tasking – the constant context switching and disruptions makes it hard to do deep work. Cooking meals also take up much time, compared to the convenience of eating outside previously. Yes, there’s food deliveries, but with work dwindling, paying the extra 30% or more for delivery is increasingly a luxury. Embodying the home-body experience when it comes to entertainment will be interesting exploration too. Video games? Chasing Netflix series? Reading? There’s much more to think through on building new habit systems in the time of COVID-19.
More to come…