I saw this quote on my social feeds today, and I went “Hell yeah ?”.

May the bridges I burn light the way.

Conventional wisdom seem to prefer less extreme measures when it comes to closure, be it with your organisation, friendship or other transactions or relationships. “Don’t burn your bridges,” they say, “else it might come back to haunt you.”

That’s a cowardly way to live life. 

The first thing to consider is, does the person, organisation or relationship deserve your future attention? Toxic people - out. You have no obligation to be nice. Then, what’s the upside and the downside to burning that bridge? Out of (irrational) fear and loss aversion, we often over-amplify the downside. A toxic friend? Little downside. Your previous employer? If there’s good reason to burn bridges, due to unethical behaviour, or bad conduct, why not? Yes, they might speak ill of you when your next employer do reference checks, but so what? Their reputation probably precedes them that anyone listening to them should take their word with a grain of salt. You can also defend yourself without coming across as bitching, move on with your head high, integrity intact, and confidence that you did the right thing. If the next potential employer is one who gets easily influenced by such comments, then it’s not an employer worth your while anyway. You’re worth better. Barring extreme circumstances where poverty is a major problem if you don’t find a next job soon, you are always better off in the long term, to burn the bridges you should have burned.

Your integrity is the reputation you have with yourself.

You might get some upside in the short term from letting your integrity slide and not burning that bridge, but in the long run, you lose credibility with yourself. An intact integrity is the “f**k you money” of your moral capital. Burning deserving bridges is long term emotional, moral, spiritual congruence. No one likes to work with someone with an eroded sense of integrity. Would you?

Let deserving bridges burn. You’d live and learn. Let the fire light your way towards people and organisations worthwhile of your attention.