Since first posting about my wandergrief, I’d spent almost 2 weeks here making sense of it, by recollecting my past transformative trips in India, Bhutan, France, and Scandinavia. I was trying to learn from what made these trips transformative and how I recovered from it, hoping that it will help in some way for my current wandergrief after spending an absolutely soul-changing 3 weeks in Kyoto. Some things I learned through this writing experiment:
? It was fun recounting all these trips! Though it is by no means exhaustive. But one thing I realised is that I really enjoyed writing sensory recollections about my travel memories, especially these that had moved me deeply. I think I found something that I’m passionate about here. And finding something interesting that I enjoyed doing had helped somewhat with making me feel better. And because of this discovery, I think I’m going to write a lot more about it in my future posts too!
? Wandergrief is most difficult in the first 3 days after returning. So don’t jump back to work too fast. Plan for some buffer downtime - 1-3 days or so - after touching down. Allow yourself that indulgence to just grieve. Take it easy, chillax, do stuff that helps you reminiscience on the trip just gone, write about it, post photos, do your scrap book, etc. Little actions to just stretch it a bit longer helps makes the jolt of coming home a little less sharp.
? Telling myself, it will pass, as it always had. Recounting so many trips I took in the past, I (re-)realised that I had always recovered. Every single time. Life goes on. It’s common sense of course, but the act of telling myself that, while in the heatof wandergrief, is somewhat comforting. These trips had shaped me, but that was only valuable if it gave me something to help me onwards and forwards. No point dwelling and living in the past joy of a trip and missing sight of the present and the future.
?? Get back to work and a daily routine that you enjoy, after a week or so. A daily routine is usually seen as boring, but in some cases like wandergrief, having some routine activities is grounding for the body and mind. I always say I’m having an out-of-the-body experience since coming back, because my heart is left back in Kyoto while my body is back home here in Singapore. Having daily anchors that our hearts can move through and enjoy, seem to help draw it slowly back.
✈️ Plan the next transformative trip. It might be too soon to buy tickets or plan anything concrete, but the easiest way to move on is to look forward to the next one. Kind of like rebound, but not in an unhealthy way. Just daydreaming about it, scrolling through Instagram for travel photos, window-shopping on ticketing sites, or even just random chats with friends about where you might go next, is helpful.
And what’s a good indicator that your wandergrief is fading? I start to get impatient talking/writing/thinking about wandergrief. Sure, I still treasure it and hold it dear in my heart for the lessons and experiences, but I’ll also start to feel restless for over-romanticising and holding on to it too tightly. Mostly, it’s the impatience that signals the desire to move on.
And I’m definitely feeling it now. Time to take what I learned, and build a better path ahead! And plan more life-changing trips!