Hot take: Writing is an indulgence in times of COVID-19.

To be honest, I’m not decided on my position with the above statement. But just wanted put it out there to provoke thought. It did gave me lots of food for thought.

You see, with COVID, there seems to be a going back to basics. To the essentials. From peacetime to wartime. From luxury to survival. And somehow, more and more I’m feeling like writing feels like an indulgence. 

I’m not sure if you feel it too. But I don’t feel like I can write these days. It’s like there should be other things I should be doing, rather than writing. Urgent, important things. For my survival, for my city, country, for my child. I’d been volunteering my time and skills for many social issues arising from the pandemic right now, and many things feel serious now, especially the situation at our migrant worker dormitories now where infection is going off like crazy. People’s livelihoods are also at stake with the extended lockdown. There’ll be many who lose jobs, companies closing. Our social fabric is crumbling away before our eyes, and I feel like I need to step up and do my part. Anything else is starting to feel like an indulgence that can wait. Including writing daily. 

At this point, the streak and my indecision about my position is the only thing keeping me on this site. And it’s working so far. 

I guess by writing this, I’m trying to gain greater clarity about my struggle to find a reason for such self indulgence. Or to discover a new “why”, a new direction to my reason for being here.

@keni advised me to try to document what is going on… that may serve both as something to write about and as a diary for yourself and others about what is going on. Find a creative way to not feel guilt over writing. 

She’s right. That may be one way forward. I feel like I need to come around to how my words make sense in my situation. 

I guess it’s back to slump days for a bit.