Anger is one of the most misunderstood emotions. 

Every time someone gets angry, we always say, “Relax. There’s no need to get angry.” It’s as if we want to wish it out of existence whenever we see it being expressed. On some level, that almost feels like society doesn’t allow us to be angry; anger shouldn’t exist. We unintentionally discriminate it. 

Something I heard on a podcast today triggered that small realisation, that that was how I saw anger, how I saw my anger. That it is bad. It should not exist. It should disappear. If it comes up, it should be actively suppressed. Stay calm, explain things rationally, don’t let emotions get in the way. Avoid conflict. Don’t let a temporary burst of ill temper destroy years of relationship.

But maybe I shouldn’t see it that way anymore.

Because to be human is to have emotions, isn’t it? If we can accept that people need time to grieve in times of grief, why not anger too? Does anger not deserve a spot in the parthenon of human emotions? 

Perhaps then, instead of suppressing anger, we should be asking:

“How can we be mindful and recognise when anger arises?”

“How can we give anger its right to being, yet not let it overwhelm us?”

“How can we discharge or transform anger in a healthy, wholesome way?”

I don’t know the answers to those questions, but I want to find answers. Hopefully it’s not rage rooms.